After a fabulous Oktoberfest celebration with all the Chicagoland (and some Wisconsin) Whites, Joe and I fell asleep at 8:30 pm, and then woke up this morning at 8. I was a much-need sleep, and the fall weather made it all the more fabulous. Upon my waking, however, I remembered the sink full of dishes. It made my stomach hurt as I thought about it being just one more thing on my long list of stuff to get done today. Normally, a long list wouldn't frighten me, but I have such little energy these days that it is so hard to let myself nap when I know there are still so many things to accomplish. The nap usually wins, but the outstanding items on the to-do list weigh down my week.
As I said in last week's post, I guess I should just get used to it.
But to counteract the anxiety I was experiencing, I remembered that the Knights of Columbus were having a pancake breakfast after church. Score! Less dishes AND it supports a good cause. We were all over that. I even got seconds.
How far along? 39 weeks
How big is baby? About 4 of the doctor's hand widths. He or she is still growing, but has given me a lot more breathing room. Whew.
Total weight gain: 49 pounds.
Maternity Clothes? Why didn't anyone tell me that I'd need another round of clothing near the end of the second trimester? All the labels say to "buy your pre-pregnant size." Hi, I'm a size 4. Sometimes a size 2 depending on the store. I'm currently wearing a size 8 and these are uncomfortably small. I had assumed that the pants I bought half-way through the pregnancy would last, but was a big fat NO. This is not true. In case you or your significant other have not yet been pregnancy, I'm warning you now--the clothes-buying never stops.
Stretch marks? Still there. I've given up on trying to put anything on them--it just doesn't seem worth the effort anymore.
Sleep: Interrupted 2-3 times a night. This past week I couldn't get back to sleep for a number of hours. Again, I suppose I just need to get used to this.
Movement: A few times I've had a braxton-hick while baby was awkwardly to one side. This made a large protrusion come out of my side. It kind of looked like half a softball was coming out of my right side. It was kind of amusing, but also still so strange to see.
Food cravings: This week the food difficulties of first trimester have returned. Nothing sounds good and I'm incredibly fickle. Because nothing sounds appetizing I find myself forgoing to eat, which just makes me ill. Plus, I know I'm not supposed to let myself get too hungry during these final weeks because it can often trigger labor (or a false feeling of labor). It is such a catch-22.
What I miss: The corner of the dining room being baby-item free. Having enough energy to grocery shop AND clean in the same day. Not constantly wondering when labor will begin and my life will drastically change.
What I am looking forward to: Getting over the initial shock of a new baby and enjoying our time together--going shopping and out to lunch with my mom. Baking and making dinner. Afternoon naps.
Milestones: Remembering to trust. Does that count? I've grown attached to the image of the Divine Mercy in the past few weeks. I keep reminding myself that the timing of all of this doesn't depend on me. No matter how mentally ready I am I really don't matter in the situation. As a planner, it is so difficult to just "let it be" and know that it could be tonight, or it could be in another 4 weeks.
Say What?:
I was doing some returns of repeat baby items at Target. The woman behind the counter asked me how old my baby was. It caught me so off-guard. "Um, 3 weeks away?" "Oh, I didn't realize! You're still so small!" Thanks...I guess? Also, I have a hard time believing her.